Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Month Gone By...

One month ago today, the world changed as a precious little boy stepped from this mortal life into the eternal presence of Almighty God. Not a day goes by where we don't miss our sweet Isaac, look at his many pictures, & ache to hold him again. At times, kissing his cheek on the photograph, imagining his soft skin. We miss our Isaac. We miss his bright, loving eyes. We miss his funny expressions. We miss his little puckers & his enormous yawns. We miss holding him for hours in our arms.

But oh, what peace is found in knowing he now stands with Jesus, face-to-face, worshipping ever at His throne! No tubes, no needles, no meds, no wounds. Perfect & complete, our son is home with his heavenly Father who loves him more than anyone could ever imagine. No surgeon's knife will ever cut him again, no tests will ever need to be run on him. He can simply be the precious boy he was created to be, laughing with joy in heaven evermore.

This past month has been filled with grief & peace, the closing of a chapter as life's pen begins the next. We cherish the twenty-four weeks we had with our sweet boy. What a gift! With all of his health problems & abnormalities, its truly a miracle that he even lived past a day old. Thank You for the time with him, God! In looking back over our journey with Isaac, so many memories & lessons flood the mind. One in particular was the day we had to rush him to UNC for dehydration. Isaac slept the whole ride there, so I pulled out my Bible to hopes of finding some encouragement during this frustrating turn of events. I landed on Exodus 25, where God instructs Moses to take up a heavy offering to build the tabernacle. As the chapter progresses, it lists the things to be given in the offering. What an extravagant list of items! And I got to wondering...where did the Israelites get such valuables (porpoise skins?) when they've been wandering in the wilderness for years and slaves for generations before that?! If you look back to Exodus 12, we see how God enabled the Israelites to plunder the Egyptians when they were released from Egypt. Everything of worth & value that they had, God Himself had provided! In chapter 25, God recognizes that this offering will take sacrifice, offering up things that they want to hold onto most. But ultimately, even the most precious of items came from God anyway. Even by having this hard offering taken up from the Israelites for the tabernacle, God showed His love as He wanted to dwell with them! And that morning in the car, God comforted me saying, "I know that this journey is hard for you & that you love your son so very much. I know how hard this is to trust what is most precious to you in My hands. But he is My child, My gift to you. I am not ignorant of how hard this is for you & will carry you through whatever the road may bring. I love Isaac & I love you. Trust Me." What an impression that ride made on my heart. And it was just two days later when we got news that Isaac's heart was not growing & his time here could be much shorter than we'd hoped. Two weeks later, he was home with Jesus.

While this road has been hard, God has never left our side. He has always provided exactly what we've needed to get through. Yes, we miss our son...more than words can say. But he ultimately was from God & we were so fortunate to be stewards of this precious gift for 24 weeks. What a blessing!

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables Him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body.
-Philippians 3:20-21